A few days ago I was talking to the one man that I always thought I would be with. After almost two years of that not being the case, the phone conversations have become pretty… repetitive and draining… Something I think we can all relate to.
After the last phone conversation last week, I felt especially “over it” and wondered why I had ever met him, or kept him around in any capacity… all I could do was pray about it and go to sleep. The very next morning, as I rushing out of my apartment to head to my acting class. Right in front of me as I stepped on the corner of my building to cross the street; I saw the name of my ex written in dusty a window of a car. There I was starring at the name wondering, huh thats odd, I just spoke to him last night and some how here is his name etched in dust before me?! Ironic… Now mind you, all this was in a matter of seconds as I was crossing the street because instantaneously, a large moving truck sped around the corner, barreling through without even seeing me! After my instinctual quip and yelling out loud at his carelessness…
It hit me… not the truck, but the thought that if my ex never had meant so much to me, then neither would his name etched in dust and if I hadn’t still taken the time to have draining conversations and loved him as I have, or if that name was really any other name other than his… then I am more than sure that that truck would have hit me. Isn’t interesting to think, that perhaps, the only reason why I ever loved and lost that realtionship/man may have very well been because I was supposed to see his name in the dust, stop and think long enough to miss that truck, to live another day. What if THAT was the reason why we EVER met?? Something to think about indeed!
Perhaps I would have jumped out of the way in time, perhaps it would have only hurt me and not killed me, but either way I know if I hadn’t stopped for a few seconds that what would have happend next wouldn’t have been pretty! And for that I really am grateful for him and all that which I was frustrated with before. I realize that I cant help but think that EVERYTHING WORKS TOGETHER FOR OUR GREATER GOOD. 🙂